The Art of Listening

Listening is hard work. And we're not just talking mental work but physical too. According to Ralph Nichols, the “Father of Listening”, the act of listening is characterized by a faster heart action, quicker circulation, and a rise in body temperature.

Our emotions and other environmental factors contribute to how well we listen so if we’re stressed at work, our listening skills take a hit. Because listening is taxing both to our minds and bodies, it’s understandable that we would want to take the easy route from time to time.

Bad listening skills affect us personally, but it's also detrimental to business when we ignore our customer. What is holding us back to really listening and what can we do about it?

The Urge to “Speak Our Mind”

One of the biggest barriers to listening is the desire to speak our minds. We might think we are listening when in reality, we are simply waiting for a break to share our thoughts. It makes sense since most people want to contribute to a discussion and it's seen as a strength. Elon Musk just made headlines with his question to an employee in a meeting “You haven’t said anything. Why are you in this meeting?”

However, how can we really understand the other side and come up with a relevant response, if we’re constantly thinking of what to say instead of concentrating on what’s being said? 

When we think about business, most companies think they listen to consumers but are really only partially listening. Many times I’ve sat in the back of a focus group session while the client or agency (myself included) starts chatting about something else, only half listening to what was being said. There are so many examples of brands only partially listening at best. 

Before a brand can market a product with a message they hope customers can relate to, they really need to listen to their customers. What do they care about? What are their worries? Those voices and responses deserve not passive listeners but active ones. A brand's response or message will be that much stronger when it's directed as a response towards their audience. Otherwise, the message will seem tone-deaf and more like someone randomly shouting in a room full of people. 

We might realize the value in listening in both our personal and business lives, but we don't always know how to stay focused.  Here are some ways that we can improve our listening skills.

1.) Ask The Right Questions

A great conversation starts with questions. For many, this is obvious. Mind-reading just doesn’t work. When we go on first dates or meet someone for the first time, the majority of the conversation stems from questions (or at least good ones!). Plus, when we ask questions, we have prepared for that information in our mind so we are naturally more receptive to a response.

Brands should not only be asking questions of their consumers but discerning which are the right questions is equally important. Exploratory research and getting a baseline understanding of your audience is, of course, crucial but anytime a brand wants to re-engage with consumers, some form of "listening" should happen. For instance, have there been any life changes or cultural influences with your customer since you last checked in? For retailers, maybe it’s a question of how customers feel during back to school or holiday months. 

At the end of the day, figuring out what questions to ask (or hiring an expert) is crucial. Understanding factors like how much you already know about your audience, what function of your business the question is intended to help, your communication objectives, will lead you to the right questions to ask your audience.

2.) Reflect Back

We all know that being heard is important. There are many tips out there on how to improve listening skills and one important one is to reflect back what the person has said. Not only does it show the other person that you’ve heard them, but it helps to solidify their message in your mind and build a stronger connection.

In business, it’s important to make sure your customers are heard which is why distilling those findings is so important. I love creating personas but i make sure they are inspired from real users or respondents that include core motivations, frustrations, aspirations and unique characteristics. 

Post-result briefings are a great way to reflect back what you’ve learned from your consumer research and to socialize with all teams in your organizations. And, yes I mean all, not just the Marketing department. It might not seem immediately relevant or actionable to every function of your business, but it’s fundamental for everyone to take in what your customers are saying and reflect back the main messages, feelings, and motivations. Reflection helps develop empathy for an actual living breathing person instead of ubiquitous demographics. From future product innovation to messaging campaigns, it will be that much easier with a crystallized understanding of how your customer thinks and feels.

3.) Use Social Data To Start

Listening in a broad sense isn’t just auditory. From a conversation at an event to a blog post, messages, thoughts, opinions, feelings are being conveyed all the time. The great thing about social media is that it captures these responses and through social profiles of our community, we are listening all the time. 

In business, observing through social data is another way of “listening” to consumers.  Social listening is a powerful way that brands can hear what customers are saying in an unprompted natural setting. I like to think of it as digital ethnography. However, like any other research, you need to have specific questions in mind or the data can lead you down a rabbit hole and you’re distracted just like a conversation gone wrong.

Many brands are excited about having social data at their fingertips. The good side is that observatory "listening" has never been easier. The bad side is that it can be misconstrued or misapplied. Social data should be seen as a conversation starter. It's a small reflection of an experience, a thought, a statement. And it’s great to uncover a potential opportunity or area of discovery but it’s necessary to go a little bit deeper via structured research methods where you can ask questions to get a deeper understanding. 

Most importantly, observational data and research, in general, should never be looked at as a strategy in and of itself. The goal with any type of data/research, etc should be to either inspire (a message, creative idea, etc) or inform (product development, market opportunity).

When it comes to "listening" it's smart to look to the experts to help guide you along the way to make sure you're asking the right questions and implementing them into your content and communication strategy.